As I have made more of an effort to have a Faith-based life in the last 2 years I have really had great struggles with the idea that God has a plan for each of us. According to my faith, I am supposed to feel secure in the fact that I am right where God wants me to be, that he has a plan for me. But some days I feel like where I am and where I think I should be just don't fit. It makes me want to scream:
"But I feel SO BEHIND in life!"
"This doesn't fit!"
"I feel so LOST!"
At bible study last night and we discussed how we are reminded in the bible that God has a plan for each of us. Someone posed a question I have thought of frequently but was a little too shy to offer up: "What if I didn't listen to God in the past? What if I turned off of God's path. Am I just lost now?"
I wrestled with our conversation all night last night. My guess is that I will be struggling with the daily ins and outs of this part of faith for quite a while. I still don't know that my faith is strong enough to put me completely at ease.
I do know this though.
God does have a plan for me. He also gives me free will. There have been, and likely will be in the future, times when I chose to disobey God. There will be times when I refuse to quiet the noise around me and truly listen to what He has to say. I will turn off of God's neatly laid path. But the comfort comes in knowing that He will never give up on me. When I really listen, I can hear His gentle "recalculating". He will guide me back to my path, the one he laid out so carefully for me. He never promised it would be easy; He just promised He'd be there all the way.
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